Thursday, October 21, 2010

Guess what I wear as a hat?

A lentil. 

I love this.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Great Outdoors that is the Greater South Side

*Disclaimer:  This post contains graphic gory disgusting details toward the end.

 I thought I would take a little time today to enlighten you all as to the fantastic woodland creatures that you can all meet if you come visit.  You know you all need an outdoor adventure, so COME ON!


As any of you who are facebook or twitter followers know, I recently made friends with a darling Orb Weaver!  He spun new webs outside my front door every night.  He has now moved to the back door.  How do I know that he is the same one, you may ask... I just do!  He's special!  Here is a really crappy photo of him.

Jack and friend... I'm very aware that
he could probably live inside of Jack's beard.

Jack and I now have a new friend that moved in close to our house!  Want to meet him?  He doesn't have a name, and frankly, I haven't seen him except for the ONE time... but as far as I'm concerned, he's a buddy.

Releasing our new buddy in to the wild...
 that is, a bush in front of our house!

I believe I may have previously mentioned the squirrel family that we have living in our trees as well.  If not, we have several squirrels that live here.  Kaiah hates them because they tease her.  She'll chase them up the tree and they'll get to a branch, just barely above Kaiah's reach and will chatter at her.  I honestly think they are mocking her.

(I will also add that there are a variety of birds and bunnies and this guy that live here, but they aren't super news-worthy.)

Now, on to the real story.  Shortly after I discovered the Orb Weaver, I also discovered that there are two owls living in our pine tree.  I went outside with Kaiah one night and I heard this noise that I could only assume was the collaborative noise of 3 dying dogs.  Well, all of a sudden, I look up because I hear a rustling and an owl swooped out of the tree, right at my head!  As soon as it got across the street, I could hear it "who whoing" back and forth with the remaining owl in the tree.  I assumed since I heard the noise no longer that it was some weird mating noise or conversation the two were having before the dear friends parted ways.  This all happened about 2-3 weeks ago.

This is where the story really starts.  About a week ago, I started scolding Kaiah when we went outside because she wouldn't leave the eave extension alone.  Then, a few days ago I started smelling what can only be referred to as "the smell".  I told Jack that there was something that was clearly dead in the eave extension.  He told me he checked and that there was nothing there.  BOY was he WRONG.  Finally after two days of the stench increasing, I forced Jack to take the extension out and check even though he ASSURED me it was just "stagnant water".  As soon as he pulled it off he goes, "oh... there's something in there all right". 


A DEAD RACCOON!!!  A completely mushified decomposing pile of maggots, teeth and a tiny striped piece of tail!  DISGUSTING!  Jack tried to convince me it wasn't a raccoon but I know raccoon tail when I see it.   Sick.  It was seriously mush! 

What does this have to do with the owls you ask?  I have decided that the noise that I heard the night of the owls was actually that raccoon trying to free itself from my eave spout and the sound alarmed the owl and made it fly across the street!  How horrible is that?  Maybe I could have saved the probably rabid little dude, had I known!  Sad!

Okay, that is all for my nasty nature stories.  Here's a cute picture of Kaiah in her new tie-dyed bandana I got her at FarMar this weekend to replace all of the grossness!

Such a pretty girl!

Friday, October 15, 2010

A month later...

It's been almost a month since I've blogged.
I'm aware of how ridiculous this is.
I've had a lot going on.
Tore up the basement.
I'm actually developing a caseload at work.
This means that I've had to work.
Several new diagnoses.  (Yay... NOT.)
Brought back the phrase "NOT".
You know, the uje.

I've also decided that I can break down to the first syllable of "usual" by saying "uje" in order to make it sound right.  Care to disagree with me?  You come up with a better solution.  (Saying the whole word is NOT an option.

Here's a picture to make up for the load of crap I've just made you read.

Just a lil' something to show you how upset I was by my "Texas Toast" which 
was actually a tiny slice o' bun.  I'm aware of how unflattering this picture is.
It still makes me laugh.  A lot.

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