Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Perfect(?) Trifecta

Isn't it funny how life never quite works out the way that you imagined it would?  I know this seems a cliche way to start out today's blog, but I've been doing some soul searching this morning.

"Life", or what you pictured for your life, continues to get pushed further and further down the line.  (I guess it also comes a lot sooner than planned for some people, but not me.)

As a child, I thought I would be in a house & married, with a puppy at home and a child on the way by the age of 25.  As I got older I still wanted all of those things; it just got pushed back to the age of 28.  In January of 2009 (25 years old), I had a steady boyfriend, but other than that I was in no way on my track to make it by 28.  Now I'm 27 & it appears as though I'm almost there.

I've got the house:

The boyfriend has proposed:

I've got the puppy (In front of our refrigerator.  So tiny!):

who is now a dog (95 lbs. of dog!):

Yet it's still not right.  Why is it that everyone continues to strive for perfect when perfection is nearly impossible?  I've got the house.  I've got my fiance, Jack.  I've got my "puppy", Kaiah.  (I guess it's time to start calling her my dog, huh?)  The only thing missing is the actual marriage itself and the child (which, thank God, we are in no way ready to make that goal).  And yet, I still feel so far from where I wanted to be another year from now.

I guess as a kid you don't think about things like financial stability, job security & stress (Oh, the stress...) or even general happiness.  You think that those things are just an automatic bonus that comes with the territory.  I mean, if you have a house, you must have a job and you must be financially stable, right?  And you have the "perfect life", so you must be happy and stress free, right?

Is it just me?  Am I being completely pessimistic?  I mean,  a lot of people are in the same boat as I am, right?  RIGHT?!?! 

It's that strive for perfection.  It's being goal-driven.  It's making the decision to go down that path that you've always wanted since you were a little girl, even if, in retrospect, you were a bit hasty about the leap.  It's forcing all of those things into the last year (or so) of my life.  Feb. '09: Engagement.  May '09:  House & Puppy.  May '09 - Present:  Dealing with the aftermath of all of those decisions.  The perfect trifecta.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my fiance, Jack.  I love my house.  I love my dog, Kaiah.  What I don't love is people constantly asking me about wedding plans (since we have been engaged for 16 months and haven't made a single plan), paying bills (or stressing over whether we can pay the bills), & barking and slobber.

The funny thing is, it's all worth it.  I love Jack.  We fight, as every couple does, but we also laugh.  A LOT.  I get stressed paying more for a house and having all of those extra expenses that you don't have with an apartment, but it is so worth it.  I get sick of listening to barking and cleaning up slobber, but it is nice to know when someone is coming to the door, and it is wonderful to get the little girl puppy kisses.

Life is funny like that...


Anonymous said...

May I just start by saying this makes me want to start blogging? Pretty sure nobody would read it though haha :)

Just wanted to say that I think you're doing an incredible job "prepping" for your life goals. You're smart in taking your God-given time. Enjoy these days as a home-owning engaged couple with a DOG (95lbs is NOT a puppy!) - b/c once you start planning a wedding, you'll grow gray hairs and get daily migraines (my advice is to either elope or plan a gun-shot wedding in a week b/c you won't have time to stress). THEN you start planning a family...::sigh::...

I'm blogging on your blog. Excuse me :)

WTF I have to make an account to post a comment? Ugh. I'm saying I'm anonymous but this is Julia. Bys. Uhrlass...

Unknown said...

Thanks for your words of wisdom Gulia.

You don't have to make a blog account. You just have to make a google account, which pretty much consists of putting in your name (and maybe an email) and then your done... you can add a picture if you want too. :)

Unknown said...

P.S. She'll always be a puppy in my eyes! :)

Anonymous said...

You don't HAVE to have a google account even. It asks for one but I use my hotmail address and it works just the same for my account. Okay now for real comment.

Jenni, you're a very good blogger. Not that I should be surprised, you're also a very good talker. I am not a good blogger, it's often boring and annoying to read. Keep blogging cause I like reading about things I all ready know about you. Love always and for-ever-ever your darling sister.

Unknown said...

I use my hotmail account as well, sister dear. It's not a "google" account so much as a "google friend connect" account.

WHATCHU TALKIN' 'BOUT? (What if I only wrote like that???) You are a good blogger as well. I like your blogs. I like blogs. In general. I think it's going to become a new obsession. I just decided so.

Anonymous said...

Well if you find any super awesome ones send them my way, I follow a few besides yours now but they're all museum ones cause I'm a geek.

Unknown said...

Will do!

*Lesli* said...

deareast jennifer :) ha...

you are not pessimistic at are living life. is it bad that i like to know that other people struggle as i do? it is. it is bad. lol. i just want to know i'm not the only one that has to LIT-RLY (insert british accent) stand in front of the hand soap to figure out if i can really afford the good stuff...or if i just go with the cheap stuff because, honestly, i can't afford that pretty bottle. HA. I'm pretty sure the last time I saw you I indeed asked when you were going to get married already...but in noway was i thinking you are horrible and rotten because you haven't made plans yet. I think you are awesome and of course, there is no rush whatsoever. I certainly did not think i would be where i am today (way behind). I'm almost 33...old balls. Speaking of...I'd better get off here and look for a man before my ovaries rot.


Unknown said...

Something about the way you say "ovaries rot" is REALLY sexy. I'm sure talking like that will help you find a man! ;)

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